A Pill A Day, Does Not Keep FanGirls and Boys away
by God's Daughter
Summary: Dr. Gregory House and the other Doctors at the hospital are about to get annoyed and seduced by the The Gregory House FanGirls FanClub and The Dr. Lisa Cuddy FanBoys FanClub. They seem harmless @ lst Especially for HOUSE but they will turn ugly quick....
1. Chapter 1

WHY....R.....U.....HERE?

* * *

"Say 'AHH'"

House said as he shined a light down a patient's throat.

"EWW...."

"What's wrong Doctor?"

"Do you ever think about your papilla?"

House said as he started to take his gloves off.

The patient just looked at him.

"The bumps at the back of your tongue."

House said as he then opened his mouth and pointed to the papilla.

"Well, no not really."

The patient clearly had no idea on what House was talking about.

"Well you should. Your breath is killing me and smells like the aftermath of making love to fat chick in a sauna mixed in with bad milk."

The patient immediately became became angry and defensive.

"Excuse me?!"

"Here."

House said as he handed her a large pack of TicTacs and Altoids.

"LISTEN CAREFULLY! SINCE YOU ARE DEAF, I"M GOING TO SPEAK LOUDLY AND SLOW! TAKE A WHOLE PACK OF TICTACS AND ALTOIDS A DAY!"

"EXCUSE ME?! BUT WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

"I can hear perfectly you know."

House said as he began to walk out the room.

The patient got off the examining table and walked over to House.

"I WILL NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO BE TREATED...."

House slammed the door in her face.

But he then opened it back up.

"Oh! And don't forget to brush your teeth."

He then slammed it again and you could here the patient cursing from behind the door.

House popped a couple of pills in his mouth as he walked over to the elevator.

He was about to press the button but someone beat him to it.

"No worries Dr. House. I know what floor your office is on."

House turned to see a teenage girl standing next to him.

She was in a House M.D t-shirt that stated "I LOVE GREGORY HOUSE" and she had a backpack that surprisingly said, "I'm in the HOUSE GANG."

House looked at her clearly confused.

The girl looked at him back.

"Nice T shirt."

"Thanks. I made it myself House. You're not looking to shabby either. I'm loving how you decked out your fine pair of jeans."

House watched as the elevator doors opened.

He attempted to get in and hurry and close the doors but the girl was right beside him.

"What floor are you going on?"

"Well duh House. The same floor that your going on."

The girl said as she gave House an air punch to his shoulder.

"Uh Huh...."

House said as he pushed the button for his floor.

As the elevator began to go up, you could tell there was a heavy awkward silence.

"Why are you here?"

"To see you of course."

House still looked confused.

"I'm sorry, but i don't talk to strangers."

House said as the doors opened and he and the girl walked out.

"You're no stranger to me."

"You never know...I could be a crusty old man who finds pleasure in seducing young girls."

"Or...You could be a sexy guy who finds pleasure in seducing young girls."

"Lieing is a bad habit."

"And it's your best."

House entered into his office.

The girl began to follow but House stopped her.

"No girls under 18 allowed. Know go home and cry me a river."

House then slammed the door in her face and locked it.

"Having a rough day?"

House turned to see another girl in his chair playing his XBOX 360.

"Who are you? And I really don't have the money i owe from the night before."

House said as he limped towards this girl.

"I'm Gabi. Head of the Dr. Gregory House girls fan-club."

"Dr. Gregory House girls fanclub? I thought teenagers these days were getting drunk and knocked up."

Gabi laughed.

"You know House, not all of us are under 18. In fact, I'm 21."

House seemed alot more curious.

"And you are telling me this why? As if i don't know already."

Gabi got up and walked over to House.

"What are you doing tonight House? Because i was thinking that maybe you, me, and a couple of the girls from the gang can hang out or would you prefer just me."

House was about to answer but Wilson came into the room.

"House....I was wondering if....."

Gabi looked at Wilson and then began to kiss House.

But she then stopped and looked at Wilson.

"I'll see you tonight House."

She then left from House and eyed Wilson as she walked past him and out the door.

"What was that about House?"

House suddenly limped past Wilson without a word.


	2. FanChildern are not Gremlins

* * *

House walked into Cuddy's office.

Cuddy looked up at him.

"What brings you here? A complaint, a warrent to exorcise a patient, or just a thought to bother me into annoyance?"

"Have you noticed the little gremlins running around here?"

"Gremlins, House?"

"Gremlins, but not your demon spawn."

Cuddy shook her head in shame.

"No House. I haven't noticed any Gremlins around here."

"Dr. Lisa Cuddy?"

House turned around to see 4 boys about 16-18 standing at the door.

"Yes?"

The boys rushed over to Cuddy and gave her a big heart shaped box of chocolates.

"You are so awesome!"

The boys yelled in a harmonious way.

"Umm..Thanks. But my i ask why your here and why you gave me a box of chocolates?"

"We are the members of the Dr. Lisa Cuddy Fanboys Fanclub. And we are here to be of assistance to you for anything."

"You see....Gremlins!"

House exclaimed as he watched the boys turn towards him.

"They're not Gremlins House?"

Cuddy corrected House.

"We're Fanboys......See"

One of the boys said as he showed his "I LOVE LISA" shirt to House.

"More like FaggotBoys to me."

House said as he watched Cuddy get up and escort the boys to the door.

"I will talk with you later House."

Cuddy said as she left out her office.

"I'll talk to you later House."

House mimicked.

* * *

"So...Who knows what's going on with the FanGirls and Boys?"

House said as he walked into the Break room.

There sat Kutner, 13, and Taub.

"FanGirls and Boys?"

Taub asked.

House walked over to the board and wrote FanGirls and FanBoys.

"Yes....FANGIRLS AND FANBOYS. Don't pretend that your deaf, its not cute."

"I haven't seen them around."

Thirteen said.

"That's a lie. All those women you had sex with.....You probably slept with at least three of them."

House said as he made his way towards the coffee.

"What are they Fans about?"

Kutner asked.

"Gee..I don't Me."

House said as he wrote his name on the board under FanGirls and wrote Cuddy's name under FanBoys.

"Cuddy?"

13 asked.

"I know. Who would ever want to be a Fan of Cuddy? It's the apocalypse i tell you! Repent!"

House said as he drank a sip of coffee.

"We would."

Everyone looked to see the FanBoys in the room.

"You guys done bowing down and worshiping your idol Cuddyshiba?"

House asked.

"No. We're here to checkout 13."

"Me?!"

13 exclaimed as she was suddenly surrounded by the boys.

"Well duh? We couldn't just leave the third hottest to Cuddy alone."

"Third hottest?! Why am i the third hottest?!"

13 exclaimed as she got up.

"Well compared to Cameron and Cuddy, you shouldn't even be in the fanclub."

"Oh Snap!"

House said.

Everybody looked at him.

"You just got served."

House said again.

13 suddenly got up and left out the room.

"What's wrong with her?"

One of the Fanboys asked.

"Her Lesbian senses were tingling."

House said.

* * *

Meanwhile, Wilson was his office tyoing on the computer when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Wilson said as the door opened.

"?"

Wilson looked up to see Gabi.

"Oh...Hello?"

Wilson said in a sort of surprised way.

"May i talk with you for a minute?"

"Sure. Why not? If you can have a seat there."

Wilson said as he pointed to the chair at the wall.

Gabi closed the door an sat in the chair.

"So, What can you tell me about House?"

"You want to know about House?"

"Yes."

"House is complicated. And an ultimate jerk."

"Wow. some friend you are?"

"Excuse me?"

"I would think that since you're House's only friend that you would say nice things about him."

"House...doesn't really have any nice charcteristics, besides his medical ones."

"The same can be said about you but I'm also including your sexual ones.'

"How do we get from House to me?"

"Some of the girls in the faclub want to add you to the list of hotties."

"Hotties?"

"Yes. So far we have House, Chase;I'm going in order,Kutner, Foremen, and maybe even you."

"What about Taub?"

"What about Taub? He's not a hottie."

"Mmm...Hmm..So, you want to add me to your list?"

"And what have i been talking about for the past sentences?(God's Daughter just has to drag it out)

"What if i don't want to be in the group?"

"That's fine with me."

"So why couldn't you just ask me instead of tiptoe around the question like McCain?"

"Stupid author wants to drag the whole conversation out."

"Right..Well, i have to get back to work so, thank you for the conversation and I'll talk to you later."

Gabi got up and headed for the door but stopped.

"Here's my card if you change your mind and want to prove something to me."

Gabi said as she gave him her card and closed the door.

Wilson looked at the card and laid back in his chair with it.

* * *


End file.
